Ghost
coz nothing feels more comfy. haha!
a recent realization. ;-)
ohhh if only it were that easyyy!
fate, just this once, wave your magic wand. pretty please? ✌

fate, just this once, wave your magic wand. pretty please? ✌

✈ 11 memorable firsts in 2011: 3rd - dream passion


i’ve been mentioning for countless times that my happiest place is the beach. i believe i was a mermaid in my past life, i was born with a crabby cancer sign, i had an underwater themed debut, i always celebrate my birthdays in different beaches, it’s an ultimate dream for me to have a beach wedding, and i know that when i die, i would like to have a “waterbed coffin” plus a luau themed funeral. and i am dead serious with that.

last 2004, i saved up my college allowance to take an open water course for scuba diving. a lot of sacrifices had to be made just so i could afford to pay everything on my own. it was a great start, i managed to attend up to the 3rd session or so, until a very very very stupid thing happened - i quit. and to make it worse, i quit because i freshly got involved in a relationship so the “honeymoon” stage simply got in the way. no judgements needed, i know for a fact now how incredibly stupid that decision was, and i swear that kind of blinding love shall never take place again. haha but seriously, i decided not to pursue it because my then partner had a phobia since he drowned as a kid… so i figured scuba diving wasn’t really something we’d end up enjoying together and i knew that it wouldn’t be a priority during out of town breaks. so along with my dream of being a scuba diver, i let that half baked goal die the very same year last 2004.

until one day… around october of 2010, after having long forgotten about that goal, i flew to bellarocca island in marinduque province with a couple of friends and we were able to use the facilities for free. one of them happened to be snorkeling. while my friends were busy doing their stuff, i had this unexplainable desire to snorkel around the entire isolated island. so i lined up alone and approached the beach staff and told them i wanted to snorkel as soon as possible. i was told it had to be at least 4 people, but when i’m desperate for something i move mountains just to get it. in other words, i successfully charmed my way to the instructors till i was allowed to snorkel the whole island with one life guard. and there i was… snorkeling around in the middle of the ocean when it suddenly hit me: “this is so stupid, i can’t see anything from up here. i wonder what’s out there, meaning all the way below”. and from that curiosity, i suddenly found myself having the desire of reviving my goal of learning how to dive. the minute i finished going around the island, i told my friends: “i want to go back to scuba diving. i will learn how to dive again. soon.” ♒

to cut the story short, it was one of my top priorities as i welcomed the year 2011. the first trip i had last year was in our province bohol and it was there when i decided to take an intro dive, after 7 long years of not diving at all, and i have to admit that i freaked out at first. i wasn’t used to it anymore, and the initial feeling was i was gonna run out of breath. but as always, as most diving sessions turn out to be… i learned it perfectly and that intro dive was the clearest sign that i had found a new relationship with the sea. as soon as i got back in manila, i immediately enrolled myself in another open water class and after a few weeks, or rather 7 long years… i was officially a certified open water diver! getting my license was one of the BEST highlights of my year. =Þ

before, i loved the beach because of the experience of planning it, getting there, enjoying the accommodation, the resort facade, the quality of sand, the hypnotizing clear water, and the result of having instant rosy cheeks and fabulous tan lines. but at present, there isn’t any time that i go to any beach without having that strong craving for diving and exploring what’s underneath. i tell this to everyone all the time and i mean ALL the time, the best part about diving is knowing there is a whole new dimension out there… far away from the usual daily routine, so much different from the common things you usually come across with. having to witness different kinds of marine life floating around you is truly God’s wonder, and my favorite part is looking up whenever i’m at the bottom part… and along with the boat’s silhouette plus the tiny rays of sunlight opening, i blissfully say to myself: “woh… this is MY heaven!” ✔

unfortunately none of my close inner circle dives, so i encourage my friends and relatives to try it out all the time. on the contrary, it’s because of this reason that i got to meet a lot of new people and gained new friends, simply because we share this common passion for scuba diving. my next goal is to become an advance diver, but i know that i’m not in any rush. i am just so ecstatic that i have finally achieved an ultimate dream, and what’s better is that i was able to combine this with my all time fascination: photography. i have already invested so much in this sport, and i am not at all regretful for every single centavo that i have shed out. i love my complete pink & black themed diving gear, my new found calling for underwater photography, and i will forever love scuba diving for uncovering another world for me that instantly relieves my stress and drowns my worries in life. it sounds weird but i always come up as a newly charged soul every time i finish diving. this time around i know i will not stop at all, for my relationship with the sea has been the strongest & longest one compared to any other that i have devoted my heart to. =j

✈ 11 memorable firsts in 2011: 4th - dream destinations


together with my goal of stepping out of my comfort zone, i challenged myself to “dream big" and fly to certain destinations that i had been dreaming of for the longest time. don’t get me wrong, i didn’t dream beyond my realistic budget, schedule and condition. these destinations are actually “default” for most tourists, but in my case they were considered “dream come true" because it took me a lot just to finally reach those places.

a few years ago, i booked two flights as my surprise gifts for my then boyfriend, to celebrate our joint birthdays in hong kong disneyland and our 5th anniversary in coron, palawan. unfortunately, we ended up parting ways so i had no choice but to have those flights cancelled. of course i had the choice of rebooking them, but i was too emotionally dysfunctional to even think of pursuing those trips alone. we both dreamed of going to those places together, but i know deep down i was more excited to go there compared to him. and so i promised myself that one day, i will go to those two places and enjoy it to the fullest, without associating any part of that vacation with a bad memory from the past. last 2011, that promise i made to myself indeed came true. :) i first went to palawan and it was such a super memorable trip because aside from it being one of my “ultimate local dreamStinations”, i was also able to do my most adventurous experience so far = shipwreck diving! before going there, i used to think of bohol as the best beach spot in the philippines, followed by boracay then davao, but the moment i saw palawan from all the way inside the airplane, i knew my ranking will definitely change. the view of the island alone was so breathtaking, not to mention the marine life all over coron. i loved it so much i just know i will be back for more. i fell in love with the place beyond my expectations, and i went home making it my top 1 beach spot locally. i’m sorry bohol, but palawan has really transformed me. ☆

then we move on to my personal dream destinations, two places that are very close to my heart: disneyland and universal studios. there’s not much explanation needed here, i know you would simply understand why this has gotta be included in my list. the only thing that makes this special is the fact that i was able to go to these 2 places all in one year, just months apart, and that i have been dying to go to them ever since i was a kid. i went to universal studios and both my iq and eq dropped to a toddler’s level. i enjoyed it so much that i lined up more than once in some rides, good thing i was with someone who was as game as myself. being there made me feel like crying, another reason is because singapore just holds a special place in my heart too. it’s a place that i would consider settling in, if only given the chance to. ㋡ then after four months i entered the magic world of disneyland. it was so special that i really cried the entire time during the characters parade and even till the fireworks at night. i’m so so so in love with the little mermaid plus aladdin’s theme “a whole new world" so just imagine me pouring my heart out when i heard them play it during the fireworks. it was so unforgettable, every time i look back on my days spent there, it still plays so vividly fresh in my memory. thank God this time, i’m old enough to store it in my thought bubble forever.

in addition, this one i didn’t really “dream of” since childhood but i was too privileged to experience it also last year: my first mini cruise! i spent valentine’s day in thailand and what better way to wrap it up than having a cruise for us to fully capture the wonderful spots and sceneries. i was so emotionally high that time because it’s my first ever valentine’s day outside the philippines plus i was actually in a cruise!!! the setting was so romantic, though some things that only my closest friends know suddenly popped up to ruin the moment. haha! looking back, i just want to laugh it off because looking at the bigger picture, it was a trip that surely attributed to my growth as an individual, plus it also triggered my strong desire to spend the entire 2011 traveling.

and my last mention would be the place where i spent my 26th birthday together with my bestEST friends, doing the bestEST sport that i ever learned (scuba diving) —- a beachcapade in pamilacan and balicasag islands in bohol. it’s not my first time in bohol, but it’s the first time that we spent my birthday there in our newly built family house plus we got to be royal beach bums for a couple of days in my relatives’ spot, part of pamilacan island. it was extremely special because i was also able to convince my friends to try out scuba diving. it wasn’t a pleasant experience for one of my friends, but the two others managed to dive with flying colors. it’s an unexplainable feeling sharing your passion with someone, and this time i was so proud that even at least for an hour, they were able to relate to one of my absolute source of happiness. my birthday trip there will always and forever be in my heart, no matter how old we all get.  

i’ve been certainly blessed to travel most of my 2011, with more places i’ve gone to for the first time, but these 5 locations are the ones that ultimately stuck with me for the sentimental memories behind them. at times i still look back and still feel in denial that i’ve actually done it, pursued some of my dreamStinations, but i know that i shouldn’t stop there. i’m only turning 27 this year, i still have a long list to go, and i know that i will be able to reach all those places before i leave this world. I’M CLAIMING IT! 👍

… then you instantly realize you’re screwed.
✈ 11 memorable firsts in 2011: 6th - dream stress relievers ☑     if there’s one thing that i absolutely hate about me, it’s having the poor ability to do time management. this is probably the main reason why i’m anything but sporty, except when it involves water activities. it’s because of this realization that i decided to make some changes and dare myself yet again. it was only towards the end of the year that i drafted an ideal balanced schedule where i made sure to go back to what i used to do years ago, and even try out something new! i’m a certified insomniac so waking up early just to perform them was enough challenge, not to mention that my work schedule is mostly graveyard shift too. thank God i was successful in doing them all over again.  it’s a fact that i love swimming, but after a long time i finally decided to take it a notch higher by actually swimming in a larger pool, where professional swimmers actually practice and compete. i only used to swim in a small indoor lap pool nearby, but this time i decided to challenge my lungs and broaden my capabilities. i was so happy the first time i ever swam in that new pool, and the next thing i knew i was daring myself even more by increasing my round of lapses as days passed by. i was so thrilled, what kept me going was the fact that i was really doing what i loved best - being underwater! :)   then after a few weeks i tried muay thai again, the last time i did was actually in 2004! haha, such a gross amount of time to take a leave. i was a regular then, training under the philippine team in fact, then i just suddenly and i mean s u d d e n l y quit. the reason? wish i could reveal. of course i felt like dying during my first session, simply because my body was so surprised with the new activity. it was sooo far from my daily routine, but after a few sessions i got to adjust pretty well. then i moved on to bikram yoga. i first tried it 2 years ago and all i could remember was a combination of heaven and hell. hell because you feel dizzy due to the heat (duhhh that’s why it’s called heat yoga ü) but heaven because you feel so incredibly powerful afterwards. it was embarrassing to be a newbie since i was surrounded with people who were extremely flexible, but after around 20 mins or so you’ll find yourself actually going with the flow. and i shall repeat myself, the feeling afterwards is just really rewarding.   and to wrap it up, i’ve only done this once but i take full pride in it: i actually completed running around a whole oval track! as shallow as it may seem, that’s something to be so proud of considering i hate running with a passion! no exaggeration here, but i’d rather do cycling or elliptical trainers than jog/run on a treadmill. it simply bores the life out of me. but because i hated it that much, that became a motivation for me to actually train for around two weeks (it was the most free time i had last november) till finally one day, i got to run (not even walk!) the entire sports stadium. i was such in a high that i took a photo of that day once again, using my polaroid. at least for day in my life, i actually felt like winning in the olympics. ding ding ding! ★ ☆ ★    unfortunately december arrived and it was the busiest of all months in terms of my personal and work commitments. i had no choice but to temporarily take a leave again. i’m saying temporary because one of my new goals this year is to definitely work on my time management as soon as i finalize my balanced schedule (which should be done by end january), and these stress relievers should and will definitely be included in my regular routine. more than the vanity benefits, i have indeed realized the ever classic cliché… health is wealth! ✔

✈ 11 memorable firsts in 2011: 6th - dream stress relievers


if there’s one thing that i absolutely hate about me, it’s having the poor ability to do time management. this is probably the main reason why i’m anything but sporty, except when it involves water activities. it’s because of this realization that i decided to make some changes and dare myself yet again. it was only towards the end of the year that i drafted an ideal balanced schedule where i made sure to go back to what i used to do years ago, and even try out something new! i’m a certified insomniac so waking up early just to perform them was enough challenge, not to mention that my work schedule is mostly graveyard shift too. thank God i was successful in doing them all over again.

it’s a fact that i love swimming, but after a long time i finally decided to take it a notch higher by actually swimming in a larger pool, where professional swimmers actually practice and compete. i only used to swim in a small indoor lap pool nearby, but this time i decided to challenge my lungs and broaden my capabilities. i was so happy the first time i ever swam in that new pool, and the next thing i knew i was daring myself even more by increasing my round of lapses as days passed by. i was so thrilled, what kept me going was the fact that i was really doing what i loved best - being underwater! :)

then after a few weeks i tried muay thai again, the last time i did was actually in 2004! haha, such a gross amount of time to take a leave. i was a regular then, training under the philippine team in fact, then i just suddenly and i mean s u d d e n l y quit. the reason? wish i could reveal. of course i felt like dying during my first session, simply because my body was so surprised with the new activity. it was sooo far from my daily routine, but after a few sessions i got to adjust pretty well. then i moved on to bikram yoga. i first tried it 2 years ago and all i could remember was a combination of heaven and hell. hell because you feel dizzy due to the heat (duhhh that’s why it’s called heat yoga ü) but heaven because you feel so incredibly powerful afterwards. it was embarrassing to be a newbie since i was surrounded with people who were extremely flexible, but after around 20 mins or so you’ll find yourself actually going with the flow. and i shall repeat myself, the feeling afterwards is just really rewarding.

and to wrap it up, i’ve only done this once but i take full pride in it: i actually completed running around a whole oval track! as shallow as it may seem, that’s something to be so proud of considering i hate running with a passion! no exaggeration here, but i’d rather do cycling or elliptical trainers than jog/run on a treadmill. it simply bores the life out of me. but because i hated it that much, that became a motivation for me to actually train for around two weeks (it was the most free time i had last november) till finally one day, i got to run (not even walk!) the entire sports stadium. i was such in a high that i took a photo of that day once again, using my polaroid. at least for day in my life, i actually felt like winning in the olympics. ding ding ding! ★ ☆ ★

unfortunately december arrived and it was the busiest of all months in terms of my personal and work commitments. i had no choice but to temporarily take a leave again. i’m saying temporary because one of my new goals this year is to definitely work on my time management as soon as i finalize my balanced schedule (which should be done by end january), and these stress relievers should and will definitely be included in my regular routine. more than the vanity benefits, i have indeed realized the ever classic cliché… health is wealth!

definitely my top 2, next to the little mermaid. when i was a kid i would even leave my windows open just in case peter pan decides to drop by and kidnap me to neverland. i would get countless rants from my former nanny. looking back, that was one helluva thing to do, but we all have our golden childhood moments don’t we? ;)

definitely my top 2, next to the little mermaid. when i was a kid i would even leave my windows open just in case peter pan decides to drop by and kidnap me to neverland. i would get countless rants from my former nanny. looking back, that was one helluva thing to do, but we all have our golden childhood moments don’t we? ;)

✈ 11 memorable firsts in 2011: 7th - dream tame down


i was serious when i proclaimed that i was craving for a transformation from my 2010 life as i welcomed 2011. in line with this, part of rebooting myself was to attempt bidding farewell to my old bad habits, and that’s exactly what i have successfully achieved.

to summarize my 2010 self, almost half of my annual income just went straight to never ending gimmicks, nonstop parties, and of course, limitless drinking. i wouldn’t call it alcoholism, but i surely stepped a notch higher in terms of my alcohol intake. 2010 was a colorful year in terms of my social life, but i knew that it came to a point wherein it wasn’t healthy anymore. it would felt weird when a day would go by without drinking cocktails or beer or hard drinks, even as low as drinking alone just to “kill time”. there’s a specific restobar that i got so addicted to, simply because i found myself feeling very comfortable with the place and got to meet a lot of new friends. i would go there even after work, during weekdays, just to drink and mingle with different sets of friends. as expected, i even celebrated my birthday party there and since i was a “regular”, the manager gave me such an incredible deal and even threw surprise free drinks for me on that night. it surely was memorable, but one day i just woke up and decided it’s time to change my ways.

like what i’ve been consistently mentioning in my recent “2011” posts, i never really had nor believed in making a new year’s resolution. and since it’s the first time that i ever dared myself to make one, i decided it was timely to challenge myself in taming down as well. and so, even if it was sort of difficult for me to do, i promised that i will not step foot on that restobar again during the whole year. it was difficult at first, and i would even get sarcastic remarks from friends who were close to me and knew of my lifestyle, yet i did it. i actually stayed away from my home away from home, for almost 1 & a half years. and no i did not result to finding a new bar that i would make as a replacement, i simply took the initiative of really controlling my partying and going out every night, most especially my drinking habit.

then there’s another story about smoking cigarettes. since i’ve been traveling a lot whole 2011, i found it very difficult to adjust in most of the rules of hotels and resorts that involved smoking inside the room. admittedly, i wasn’t a heavy smoker, but when there were alcohol involved, my smoking would double. plus i soon realized, i had already developed an uncontrollable habit of smoking whenever i’m in the bathroom, and that’s the #1 thing that i wanted to stop. i became so dependent on smoking inside the bathroom, so i wanted to quit that by starting with my very own. it started only for 4 days, then weeks passed, the next thing i knew i was hitting the one month mark. don’t get me wrong though, my goal wasn’t to quit smoking at all, in fact i even avoided announcing it to the whole world so not to jinx it, but i was able to reach my goal. it took me more than 3 months of being smoke free, but on my birthday i ended up lighting a stick again due to being carried away with the wonderful celebration i was having. no regrets though, i’m not trying to sound defensive or anything, but if there’s one thing i learned is that it makes it so easy to quit, as long as you’re really determined to do it. in fact i got surprised that i didn’t have a hard time, only because i was focused on the goal of stop smoking inside the bathroom. up to this very day, yes it’s unfortunate that i still smoke, but i’m glad that my real mission (to cut my bathroom-dependence) was a huge success. i know in time, when i am fully ready and wholeheartedly prepared, i will decide to quit and it’s gonna be easy. in time. ;)

at present, i still haven’t gone back to my former favorite bar, but it’s also because a blessing came in last year when my sister acquired a bar that’s located very near my house. it would be hypocritical of me to say that i don’t drink a lot anymore, but i’m proud to say that i don’t drink as much as i used to. in fact, now i drink with friends only to entertain them whenever they try out my sister’s bar, without having the intention of getting drunk as a way of ‘escaping problems’ this time. it’s never too late to make changes in your life, and trust me when i say this… the moment you make a firm decision about something that has good intentions, the world conspires in making things fall into place. i’m glad i was able to tame down from my 2010 life. :-)

✈ 11 memorable firsts in 2011: 8th - dream revivals


there are plenty of things that i had missed so much and always craved of repeating them again but time never permitted in allowing me to. and that is why, it is with great happiness that i present the things that i was able to do AGAIN last 2011. these are activities that took me yearsss before being able to perform them again. they’re not even difficult to do, i just never found the time to re-do them again. :)

1. i don’t even remember the last time i rode a bike, not even any memory on who i was with. i’m just positive that i haven’t done it in the past 9 years, since i still have a somehow vivid memory of life in the recent 9 years. :) then finally one day, i just decided i wanted to bike again, if i still even knew how, so my wonderful friend accompanied me to qc circle and we were like children stuck in a playground. that day was hilarious because we were surrounded with kids and there we were, 2 full grown adults, biking the day away. we ended at night and the feeling was so unexplainable. it was sort of a shallow award winning moment that surely brought out the kiddie in me. and of course staying true to my “firsts tradition”, i took a shot again using my polaroid to capture that magical moment. ㋡

2. reading an entire book cover to cover • haha, yes. any close friend of mine would know that i’m anything but a book worm. i can read countless newspapers and magazine articles but my eyes always always and i mean always fail me whenever i read a book. and i’m not exaggerating at all, the one and only book which i have successfully finished from cover to cover, with no cheat whatsoever, was candice bushnell’s sex & the city, last 2003. and of course that’s due to the massive influence of the show, not even a wholeheartedly voluntary calling. even all my book reports during grade school and high school were done by former boyfriends. the only thing i had to do was review them carefully in order to pass all the oral tests that partnered with them. and for the record, i was so blessed enough to have such genius former lovers, for i got the highest grade in all my reports. haha!

going back to my revival, last year i was killing time in national bookstore when i suddenly found myself being mysteriously lured into the books section. i spent half an hour just browsing through the books displayed until my eyes spotted this shining shimmering book on one corner and i just got possessed and decided to purchase right then and there. frankly speaking, i was hypnotized to get it mainly because the title spoke of something that had been lingering my mind for the longest time. it was a double cover of two titles —- “why do bad things happen to good people?”, then the back had “why do good things happen to bad people?”. i was very pleased and satisfied with my impulse purchase because the book enlightened me in so many ways and made me realize a lot of things most especially on how i view life. i was very proud of it that i even shared it to my dad, and my dad in turn shared it to my brother-in-law. that move alone was enough to make me feel happy and contented about my repeated accomplishment. :)

is this too hard to ask?!?
i don’t know anymore…

PDA (We Just Don't Care)

John Legend

let’s make love

let’s go somewhere they might discover us

let’s get lost & lost, we just don’t care

we just don’t care… we just don’t care 

1 order please!

let's run away and don't ever look back, don't ever look back! =j